In 2003 I took part in a tournament organized by the martial arts community in the Lagos State University (LASU). I was still a fresh black belt holder then, and I was pretty sure I was good enough to win and get the prize. Unfortunately I was very inexperienced in the psychology of fighting, and I still had some doubt in my abilities. So when I met one of my opponents before the actual fight I was totally unprepared for what transpired. His name was Yemi, and he was an overweight freestyle fighter who had a reputation for being a thug and a bully. He looked me over and told me point blank that there was no way I would last a full round in the ring with him. Yemi taunted and bullied me, and made jokes about how skinny and slow I was. He got inside my head and his words did a lot of damage to my confidence and made me afraid. By the time our fight was announced, I was so scared of fighting him that I kept stepping to the side and trying to avoid taking a hit without making any effort to attack. Yemi scored a series of easy points against me, and I eventually lost that fight. Looking back now I’m quite sure that if I hadn’t allowed my fear to dictate my movements that day, that fight may have turned out to be one of my most conclusive victories because Yemi was slow and lumbering and he kept dropping his guard like a rookie.
Everyone has a fear. No matter how strong a man or woman is, or no matter how bold and confident a person is, there is always something that they are mortally afraid of, something that puts them at a disadvantage. As children the sight of a cane was enough to fill us with panic and send us running and screaming; as we grew older our fear of corporal punishment was replaced with other fears and anxieties, depending on who we are and how fully our personalities formed. For many people their greatest fear is the fear of being alone and without family or friends or someone to love, while for others it is the fear of poverty and lack…and this fear pushes them to do whatever evil thing possible to make money. For others still their biggest fear is the fear of the world seeing them for who they really are. These people go to great lengths to present themselves as the complete opposite of what lives within them. Yemi made me feel fear, and because of that fear I was defeated even before I even stepped into the ring. The trick to overcoming fear is to remind yourself that the fear is in your head. Jesus reminded his disciples that even though they would have troubles and difficulties, he was always with them and he would send them a comforter in the Holy Spirit. Whenever things begin to go bad for me and I find myself gripped with fear I remember Deuteronomy 31:8 and most of the time that is enough for me to grin and surge ahead.
I like to present myself as bold and confident in the face of difficulty. Sometimes I tend to overdo it and come across as cocky…even arrogant. This is not usually my intention, but I have come to discover that in life the admission of fear or the succumbing to fear often brings about the circumstance that we are afraid of. Don’t let your fear dictate your actions or define your thoughts. Remember your creator and hold onto whatever word or teaching in your religion that deals with the overcoming of fear. Surround yourself with people of courage and face your fears squarely, and you will find that fear is just a bully without any real power to hurt you. For me, my biggest fear is the fear of failure, but I face that fear every day and continue to do more and more. Face your fear today, and I promise you that you will surely overcome it. Check me out on www.ifeanyiubawords.com for more messages that deal with courage and confidence. Cheers!